Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
