how can u be prego again
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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