I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
