Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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