I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
