No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
