This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
The best revenge is premature balding
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
