dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
