Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
