Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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