No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
