I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
