hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
time to smoke my breakfast
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
