Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
