found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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