I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
