P.S. I can't hear my feet
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
