who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
