Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I have already put on my inside pants.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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