Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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