i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
