I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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