Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
