so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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