So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
