Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
