I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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