Walk of Shame. In a state park.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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