Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
