porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize
