Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
