last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
