The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
