What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
