When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize