There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
