ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
