I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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