when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize