he thought i was a dude.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
