I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
