He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
