So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
someone owes me an orgasm
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
