We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
