also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
