Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
