Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You're a waste of cheezeits
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
