i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Randomize
