Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
