I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
