I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
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