Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I have demons in me.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
