Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
as a side note pls kill me
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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