in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
