Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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