sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize